Day Off

Today was Sunday, which meant a day off from therapy. I was originally disappointed that we had two off days in a row, because I wanted to get back to working on the leg as soon as possible. It's not so much that I'm impatient to get out of here, I'm just impatient to get more mobility back. I want to be cleared to walk the three steps to the bathroom by myself without setting off the bed alarm. I can do it, and the nurses have seen me do it, but I'm not allowed to do it without supervision.

But I'm actually thankful we had a day off today, because my pain level is way up, to about a 5 at the moment. I really hope this is because I've been more active the last couple days. The pain is all the way up and down the leg, not just at the break, and it feels like muscle pain. Last night was the first time I asked for pain meds before they were due; in the middle of the night I lost track of when the last time I took them was, and had a really bad headache. The nurse came in and told me I just had them an hour ago, then left without shutting the door. So I rang the call button again to ask the aide to shut it, and she came in to tell me AGAIN that I couldn't have any more meds. Yes, I know; I'm not THAT much of an addict, that I forgot what you told me 30 seconds ago. I was just calling to ask you to shut the door so I don't have to listen to you gossiping right outside my bedroom while I'm trying to sleep through a headache. (I mean, yes, I realize you're not happy about carrying bottles of my piss to the bathroom three times a night, but I'm not so happy about that myself...)

It was also useful to have a day off because I had a bunch of visitors, which was very nice. Maya, Farhad, and Cyrus this morning. They took me outside for the first time since the accident. Cyrus didn't really understand what was different, and was mostly interested in the trains at North Station. But I think he had fun riding on my lap on the wheelchair. Then my father with more clothes, definitely needed. Then in the evening John (from the Wheaton History Department), Michael, and Kristin. Kristin was bored while the guys talked history a little; the intellectual stimulation was helpful. It's not that I'm bored in here, since everyday tasks become more challenging and therefore more interesting, but I do miss having intelligent conversations. Too much Fox News on my roommate's TV is killing more brain cells than the accident ever could have. I also have a huge stack of books and movies I haven't been able to get to because I don't have the energy or the attention span--it's the drugs, I think.

So even though they take some energy out of me, visitors are the best thing right now for keeping me in a good mood. (It was also nice to see Adam and Niamh yesterday, on their way back to Rutland.) The mood from both the nurses and patients here is more matter-of-fact than anything else; everyone just takes everything in stride--my new roommate is actually really good at that, and I think I am too. This is probably for the best, since it keeps everyone stoical. So I wouldn't say I'm in danger of depression. But even the best run hospitals are machines, and even the nicest nurse is not going to be your friend, so it's really important to have a touch of humanity from visitors.